I am a child in the wake of a storm just passed...
It's been a long ass two weeks, perhaps the longest 2 weeks of my life...
Picture this...
I share this because this is life...
It's a Saturday afternoon and you've just had lunch w/ your family. You go to visit a couple friends who are in town for the weekend cuz you haven't seen them for quite a while. After a good couple of hours of hanging out, you recieve a phone call from a hysterical sibling telling you that something has happened to your dad..."You have to come HOME RIGHT NOW!!! Something happened to pop..." Immediately you rush to your car and drive mindlessly back home, and when you pull up...you see the Ambulance, in front of your house...and you think to yourself, "My God, what is going on here?!?!" The Ambulance is still at your house when you jump in the car w/ your sister and other family members...mom has already left w/ Auntie Crystal, so you head towards the hospital. You can't control the tears streaming down your face because you still don't even know what happened to 'pop,' and all that is running through your head is that the last thing you said to him as he was about to take a lil nap was, "Hey, I'll see you in a few hours..." You find out that he had a stroke and get to the hospital to meet w/ the rest of the family...unable to see clearly, and think clearly.
They finally let you in to see him, and he doesn't even know where he is...he can't really respond...but there are a few signs he knows what's going on...he has just sufferred a massive stroke to the left side of his brain. The doctor approaches and informs the family that we have the option to administer a developmental medicine that can either help him, or cause a fatal hemmorhage...and there are only two hours left to make the decision... Again, panic and confusion cloud your mind...and eventually the family decides no after a few phone calls to experts and the personal(usually not given) opinion by two doctors not to administer it to him. Too many people are in the ER lobby(you are so grateful for the support you are already getting from your loved ones) so you bring them home. They leave and you go back to the ER...he is stabilized and must be moved to another center...which will happen in an hour or so. Mom is tired and also sickly, so she must go home w/ little sister and family. So you stay with pop and go to the other hospital.
You are there alone...and over the next 7 hours go through what can be described only as a torturous trial. Other patients and families going through their own personal issues in the same room as you...an incident with the Insurance company, which was later resolved but not until the morning came. Lack of sleep, being alone w/ thoughts of possibilities and what ifs, desperate prayers...it's torture. Morning comes around and Mom and Auntie Crystal come back...with lil sister. You go back home with lil sister and try to get some rest...which is not at all possible, you manage two hours of sleep and get on with the day, forcing some food down and going back to the hospital.
It is a new day, and they begin to test him...he is on such a strong dose of sedatives(Adevan) that he is almost completely unresponsive, and the results of the morning CT scan show that there was additional bleeding to the stroke. So he will regress...you fight the tears and leave the room because you don't want him to see you crying. And it occurs to you, which is worse? The fact that the child has to see a parent like that? Their guardian, their protector, mentor, guide, strapped to a machine, not able to communicate to them, or tell them how scared you are at that moment? Or that the parent must experience having their child see them like that? Their little one, their young, their pride and joy, having to witness such a thing to happen, something that they would never have wanted you to see, their suffering. You have no idea...but you gather yourself together and go back into the room, because you have to carry your family through this experience.
Yet another day passes and he shows no improvement…and you HAVE to go back to work. So you try to deal with your own life as well as your family…and it’s hard, but you have the support of those who love you, who still call everyday to make sure you’re okay and that if you need anything, they’re there…a few days later, you hear that he’s improving…tremendously. He can now say a few words and is getting stronger and stronger each day…he has walked a few times and even sang a song…which brought tears to your eyes. Your friends have all gone to visit him or have sent a word of encouragement. They’ve prayed and prayed. And it’s worked…never underestimate the power of prayer, and the power of love. Things seem to be on their way to getting back to normal, he will get out within a few weeks, and your heart makes a great sigh, for an huge cloud has been lifted…and now you deal with the days ahead, but you are ever thankful for everything you have been graced with in your life, hundreds of loved ones who have shown you exactly how much they love you, a wonderful family, and second chances…
Picture it, and that’s what I’ve experienced over the past two weeks…
Trying to get back to normal
Things are slowly...at snail's pace, are getting back to normal. I'm curently training for one of our programs via web collaboration. I'm a guinea pig(spelling?) for the web collaboration. Basically, I'm all alone in this cold ass room on teleconference while the class is being taught downstairs in the training room. Sucks...it's so lonely in here... but it's pretty cool. I'm pretty much going through the class as if I was actually there, I can ask questions and broadcast my screen to the instructor if I need help. But I think it's a lil disadvantageous because I work with similar programs and I know the format of the coursenotes because I've helped put some of them together. But it's cool...a lil break from the norm.
My freakin traffic ticket finally came in...and I only have one word for taht....FUCK. $135 that I don't have...oh well...there are bigger fish to fry...so it turns out it doesn't bother me as much...I guess I deserved it...
Well, that's my update...
Appreciation for the week...
People
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
-Syrus Publius
It's been a long ass two weeks, perhaps the longest 2 weeks of my life...
Picture this...
I share this because this is life...
It's a Saturday afternoon and you've just had lunch w/ your family. You go to visit a couple friends who are in town for the weekend cuz you haven't seen them for quite a while. After a good couple of hours of hanging out, you recieve a phone call from a hysterical sibling telling you that something has happened to your dad..."You have to come HOME RIGHT NOW!!! Something happened to pop..." Immediately you rush to your car and drive mindlessly back home, and when you pull up...you see the Ambulance, in front of your house...and you think to yourself, "My God, what is going on here?!?!" The Ambulance is still at your house when you jump in the car w/ your sister and other family members...mom has already left w/ Auntie Crystal, so you head towards the hospital. You can't control the tears streaming down your face because you still don't even know what happened to 'pop,' and all that is running through your head is that the last thing you said to him as he was about to take a lil nap was, "Hey, I'll see you in a few hours..." You find out that he had a stroke and get to the hospital to meet w/ the rest of the family...unable to see clearly, and think clearly.
They finally let you in to see him, and he doesn't even know where he is...he can't really respond...but there are a few signs he knows what's going on...he has just sufferred a massive stroke to the left side of his brain. The doctor approaches and informs the family that we have the option to administer a developmental medicine that can either help him, or cause a fatal hemmorhage...and there are only two hours left to make the decision... Again, panic and confusion cloud your mind...and eventually the family decides no after a few phone calls to experts and the personal(usually not given) opinion by two doctors not to administer it to him. Too many people are in the ER lobby(you are so grateful for the support you are already getting from your loved ones) so you bring them home. They leave and you go back to the ER...he is stabilized and must be moved to another center...which will happen in an hour or so. Mom is tired and also sickly, so she must go home w/ little sister and family. So you stay with pop and go to the other hospital.
You are there alone...and over the next 7 hours go through what can be described only as a torturous trial. Other patients and families going through their own personal issues in the same room as you...an incident with the Insurance company, which was later resolved but not until the morning came. Lack of sleep, being alone w/ thoughts of possibilities and what ifs, desperate prayers...it's torture. Morning comes around and Mom and Auntie Crystal come back...with lil sister. You go back home with lil sister and try to get some rest...which is not at all possible, you manage two hours of sleep and get on with the day, forcing some food down and going back to the hospital.
It is a new day, and they begin to test him...he is on such a strong dose of sedatives(Adevan) that he is almost completely unresponsive, and the results of the morning CT scan show that there was additional bleeding to the stroke. So he will regress...you fight the tears and leave the room because you don't want him to see you crying. And it occurs to you, which is worse? The fact that the child has to see a parent like that? Their guardian, their protector, mentor, guide, strapped to a machine, not able to communicate to them, or tell them how scared you are at that moment? Or that the parent must experience having their child see them like that? Their little one, their young, their pride and joy, having to witness such a thing to happen, something that they would never have wanted you to see, their suffering. You have no idea...but you gather yourself together and go back into the room, because you have to carry your family through this experience.
Yet another day passes and he shows no improvement…and you HAVE to go back to work. So you try to deal with your own life as well as your family…and it’s hard, but you have the support of those who love you, who still call everyday to make sure you’re okay and that if you need anything, they’re there…a few days later, you hear that he’s improving…tremendously. He can now say a few words and is getting stronger and stronger each day…he has walked a few times and even sang a song…which brought tears to your eyes. Your friends have all gone to visit him or have sent a word of encouragement. They’ve prayed and prayed. And it’s worked…never underestimate the power of prayer, and the power of love. Things seem to be on their way to getting back to normal, he will get out within a few weeks, and your heart makes a great sigh, for an huge cloud has been lifted…and now you deal with the days ahead, but you are ever thankful for everything you have been graced with in your life, hundreds of loved ones who have shown you exactly how much they love you, a wonderful family, and second chances…
Picture it, and that’s what I’ve experienced over the past two weeks…
Trying to get back to normal
Things are slowly...at snail's pace, are getting back to normal. I'm curently training for one of our programs via web collaboration. I'm a guinea pig(spelling?) for the web collaboration. Basically, I'm all alone in this cold ass room on teleconference while the class is being taught downstairs in the training room. Sucks...it's so lonely in here... but it's pretty cool. I'm pretty much going through the class as if I was actually there, I can ask questions and broadcast my screen to the instructor if I need help. But I think it's a lil disadvantageous because I work with similar programs and I know the format of the coursenotes because I've helped put some of them together. But it's cool...a lil break from the norm.
My freakin traffic ticket finally came in...and I only have one word for taht....FUCK. $135 that I don't have...oh well...there are bigger fish to fry...so it turns out it doesn't bother me as much...I guess I deserved it...
Well, that's my update...
Appreciation for the week...
People
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
-Syrus Publius
posted by lil jay at
11:28 AM
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